Thursday, December 31, 2009

And You Thought It Was Safe To Return To Walmart ... #4

 I'm afraid there's a matching pair in the front...and there's no bra holding them up either!

It was the cleanest I had ... so I'll show it off a bit.

I'm so used to the big girls, this one came as a shock.
At least her hair ribbon matches.

Again many thanks and Hat Tips to:

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

And You Thought It Was Safe To Return To Walmart ... #3

 Show off that G-string, Baaaaabay! Two butt cheeks shakin' like craaaazy!

It's either a horrible trick, or a disgusting treat.

Hola! Bienvenidos a McDonalds en Wal-Mart. Te gustaria tomar una siesta?
Ya, what he said ... 

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

And You Thought It Was Safe To Return To Walmart ... #2

  Winter clothes checklist: hoody, obnoxious fur boots, booty thong….check, check, and check.
Now to find something that goes with a tramp stamp and under-cheeks.  


I know you want to stop looking but can't...It's like a car wreck, it's tragic, 
but you can't stop looking.

Who wouldn't look good in a schoolgirl outfit? See above

Excuse me, Ma'am, but automotive can fix that spare tire in a jiffy!
I have to add, she looks great in her husbands jeans. 

Monday, December 28, 2009

And You Thought It Was Safe To Return To Walmart ... #1

Hat tip to two people for these ...

  Oh, those boots look like they’re made for more than just walking when you pair 
them with  those gold spandex….shazaam But hey, it's a fun couple thing!

 Pilgrims look differently in 2009. He needs to loosen those suspenders a tad so
his voice would be lower!


He's a little pretentious crowning himself Wal-Mart Worldwide Wrestling Champion,
   but it wouldn't take much to dethrone him.


 Ever wonder where the expression, "colder than a witch's tit" came from?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Grinch


At  St. Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husbands  
marriage seminar. At the session last week, the priest asked 
Giuseppe,who was approaching his 50th wedding  anniversary, 
to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had 
managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.  

Giuseppe  replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I've 
a-tried to  treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but 
besta of  alla is, I tooka her to Italy for the  25th anniversary!

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe,  you are an amazing 

inspiration to all the husbands here!  Please tell us what 
you are planning for your wife for  your 50th anniversary?

Giuseppe proudly replied,  'I'm agonna go get  her.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Apple does it again....

Apple  announced today that it has developed a breast 
implant  that can store and play music. 
The iTit will cost from  $499 to $699, 
depending on cup and speaker size. This is  
considered a  major social breakthrough, 
because women are always complaining 
about men staring at their breasts and not  
listening to them.  

Monday, December 21, 2009

A winter statistic



Sunday, December 20, 2009



Hospital Stay

A  man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to  foot.

  The doctor comes in and  says, "Ah, I see you've regained  consciousness.
  Now, you probably won't  remember, but you were in a pile-up on  the
 freeway.  You're going to be okay,  you'll walk again and everything,  but...

  "Something happened.  I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact  is,
 your willy was chopped off in the wreck  and we were unable to find  it."

  The man groans, but the  doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in  insurance
  compensation coming and we  have the technology now to build you a  new
 willy that will work as well as your old  one did - better in fact! But the  thing
  is, it doesn't come cheap. It's  $1000 an inch."

  The man perks  up at this.

  "So," the doctor  says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you  want.
  But it's something you'd better  discuss with your wife. I mean, if you
 had a  five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine  incher, she might
 be a bit put out. But if  you had a nine inch one before, and you decide  only
 to invest in a five incher this time,  she might be disappointed. So  it's
  important that she plays a role in  helping you make the  decision."

  The man agrees to  talk with his wife.

  The  doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor,  "have you
 spoken with your  wife?"

  "I have," says the  man.

  "And what is the  decision?" asks the  doctor.
  "We're getting  granite counter tops."

Saturday, December 19, 2009


The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of 
a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the : 
United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These mostly Southern boys will be dropped 
off into Afghanistan and will be given only the 
following facts about the Taliban and terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in 
Afghanistan to be over by Friday.

*Applications are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter.

A Little Christmas Silliness ...

Merry Redneck Christmas

Redneck Santa Float

I'll have what he's having ...

Global Warming

Please steal this and spread it around.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Buddy Can You Spare A ....

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing is moving North or South. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. 

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened, what's the holdup?" 

"Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 Million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection." 

The driver asks, "On average, how much is everyone giving?" 

"About a gallon."

ObamaCare ...



Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Paper

This  is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, 
to all of you who know seniors, and to all of 
you who will become seniors. It pays to be 
able to laugh about it when you are!

"WHERE is  my SUNDAY paper?!" 
The  customer calling the newspaper office,
loudly demanded to know where her 

Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, 
"today is Saturday. The Sunday paper 
is not delivered until tomorrow  on SUNDAY". 

There  was quite a long pause on the other end of
the phone, followed by a  ray of recognition as she
was heard to mutter, 
"Well, shit, so  that's why no one was at church today."

Global Warming ?

Global Warming