INSTALLING A HUSBAND (Super Bowl Special)

Dear Tech support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

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DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2
and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are un
supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking
3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support